proprietor (n).

it is a serious thing
to carry a body through this world
to keep a heart beating
to shield it from the elements
and the dangers of man
to tend to open wounds and
achy joints and muscles
to keep it strong and nourished.

it is not too much to call it a miracle
that these lungs keep filling up with air
and pushing out what is no longer needed,
a pulse that, if nothing else, is a reminder
that time is passing
and life is still arriving to me.

it is too much a tragedy that
I have spent much of my life at war
with my body’s softness,
I have grimaced at features
masked myself in makeup and clothing
I have worked hard to try and take up
less space.

it is a very radical thing
to be at home in ourselves
and I have spent much of my life
pushing myself away
pressing myself onward, too far out,
plummeting myself into too much striving
preparing myself to be presentable
puncturing myself with words that stain.

it is a serious thing
to carry a body through this world
and there is too much work to be done
there is too much beauty to fight for
to continue this daily renouncing
of the grams that make me up
and carry me through softly surviving.