"[to be able to] [allow yourself to] TO LOVE SOMEONE does not involve asking, expecting or demanding anything of another. It is not posing the questions, "what can I gain" or "how does this look". To love someone does not require reciprocation or the luxury of conditioning your love as real only if it is returned. To love someone is not dependant on whether or not it will last until the end of your everydays, nor does it promise that the other will offer themselves back to you. It does not mean that you will not be broken, bruised, folded and then folded again. It doesn't ever leave you in the same state, not in the same way, ever again. To love someone is separate and independent of all of the above. To love someone is to put ourself on the line and into the hands of another; to be transparent enough to be fully seen, to throw your safety and certainty and all you hope to hold to your own self to the ground, look someone in the eye and say,
"Yes, I will risk for you.""
journal entry from december 14, 2008.