Posts filed under The Daily: SPILL

spring reading schedule.

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I'm not sure how it happened, but the other day I woke up and realized that I have four different piles of books that I am chipping away at - the stack by my bed has a light read that I picked up at one of those neighbourhood library cupboards that people have on their lawns, and a book I didn't immediately get into, but have every intention of going back and reading, and also its crisp white cover with whimsical clementines looks great decoratively in the room, and Mary Oliver's Devotions - I feel like it's an artist win when a poem is the last thing I look at before turning the light off.

On my kitchen table, there is the book Writing Alone and With Others by Pat Schneider, which is the first writing "instruction" book I've read in a while, along with my journal, and my most current novel I'm devouring, Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng. 

In my kitchen I have a poetry book that my cousin gifted me, Bluets by Maggie Nelson, and Padraig O'Tuama's Readings From The Book Of Exile, which just arrived two days ago. 

On the coffee table is the revolutionary The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Vander Kolk, Big Magic by Liz Gilbert and We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Big Magic and We Should All Be Feminists have already been read (and highlighted and re-read), but are there for easy access and required reading for any visitors. 

So what's a girl to do? I've started scheduling in 20 minute blocks in my day to chip away at each book. Sounds a little ridiculous and a lot nerdy, but it's been a huge improvement to the alternative, "Start a book, drop a book, get a new book, feel guilty about the book you sort of started and still want to read," habit from the past. I read Padraig O Tuama with my coffee, 20 minutes of Bessel Vander Kolk after that, and Little Fires Everywhere has been coming on the subway with me. Problem solved. 

twenty-six.

My birthday this year was spent with closest friends on a quiet Friday night in, a monstrous cheese board, the fanciest of champagnes, a tower of cronuts (pictured), and celebrating the triumphs and challenges of twenty-five, and declaring bold and beautiful adventures for twenty-six, namely just these things:

less worry, more surrender
less battling, more tenderness
less anxiety, more trust
less bottling, more spilling
less second-guessing, more trying
less solitude, more partnership
less apologizing, more intention
less hurrying, more presence.

Over and over I am bewildered by the obnoxious support of my beautiful circle of friends, who, specifically in the last few months have rallied and surrounded me and fed me and housed me and wrapped me up in their love and goodness and cheered me on in the hazy uncertainty and sometimes achey heaviness I can sink into. They make my world beautiful and worthwhile with their beautiful hearts.